Before we get started, did you know that AppWhore is actually a defined term on Urban Dictionary? Now you do.

PartyBoy

I’ll forgive the gendered name of this app because I enjoy its utility, but PartyBoy is a surprisingly useful app that helps to sort out all those mystery numbers you pick up when you start getting slizzard and flirty. All this app really does is sequentially orders all the phone numbers you have put in your contacts in an effort to help you jog your memory when you’re wondering “Who the hell is Hans and when the hell did I get his number and is this the Hans I met on Friday or the Hans I met on Monday?” Of course this app doesn’t really help my most common problem, which is actually hearing people’s names and functionally typing them into my phone…so Polo Shirt, French Guy, Hottie, Darko or Douche, if you’re reading this, shoot me an email.

wEmotion

I have no tolerance for working out, I just can’t stand it and I’ll find any way I can around it. Right now these are my main outlets for physical activity: dancing, screwing and walking. I can at least use a pedometer to measure just how much of my margarita I burned off walking to the bar instead of ordering from the waitress, but how am I supposed to measure how much of those aphrodisiac oysters I’m burning off in the resulting sex. Enter eEmotion! Think of it like a sex pedometer. Just turn the app on, place it on the bed and it measures the number of thrusts, the vigorousness of said thrusts and approximately how many calories you burned in a session. I’ve yet to actually put this app into action but expect a full report when I do. Oh, and great companion app, Lose It, also counts sex as exercises and measures it by intensity and hours. You ladies keep your Zumba, I’ve got a whole new routine planned.