It just takes so much energy to have to take my phone all the way out of its case and open the Hipstamatic app in order to convey just what a fauxhemian I am. Thankfully with these iPhone cases you need to do nothing more than show a flash of case out of the back pocket of your $300 skinny jeans to say “yeah, that’s right, I drink $5 wheatgrass shots and $2 PBRs”:

The Mustache – Question: What’s longer..your mustache or the number of contacts in your iPhone that you did coke with in the nightclub bathroom over the past year?

The Fixie – Yeah, I hope the lack of brakes causes you to fall off and crack the screen of that fancy phone your mom bought you.

The Mixtape – I just love to cover my cutting edge phone with that awesome obsolete technology. Do you make one that looks like vinyl too?

The Owl – Official mascot of the unwashed.