Before we get started, did you know that AppWhore is actually a defined term on Urban Dictionary? Now you do.

PartyBoy

I’ll forgive the gendered name of this app because I enjoy its utility, but PartyBoy is a surprisingly useful app that helps to sort out all those mystery numbers you pick up when you start getting slizzard and flirty. All this app really does is sequentially orders all the phone numbers you have put in your contacts in an effort to help you jog your memory when you’re wondering “Who the hell is Hans and when the hell did I get his number and is this the Hans I met on Friday or the Hans I met on Monday?” Of course this app doesn’t really help my most common problem, which is actually hearing people’s names and functionally typing them into my phone…so Polo Shirt, French Guy, Hottie, Darko or Douche, if you’re reading this, shoot me an email.

wEmotion

I have no tolerance for working out, I just can’t stand it and I’ll find any way I can around it. Right now these are my main outlets for physical activity: dancing, screwing and walking. I can at least use a pedometer to measure just how much of my margarita I burned off walking to the bar instead of ordering from the waitress, but how am I supposed to measure how much of those aphrodisiac oysters I’m burning off in the resulting sex. Enter eEmotion! Think of it like a sex pedometer. Just turn the app on, place it on the bed and it measures the number of thrusts, the vigorousness of said thrusts and approximately how many calories you burned in a session. I’ve yet to actually put this app into action but expect a full report when I do. Oh, and great companion app, Lose It, also counts sex as exercises and measures it by intensity and hours. You ladies keep your Zumba, I’ve got a whole new routine planned.

So I got dumped today. Yeah, I know, I’m thinking the same thing you are. Who the fuck dumps a hot chick like Lady AppApp, right? A BLACKBERRY user, that’s who. A PC user. It was over before it started, talk about a bad romance. But thankfully this weekend I also got an iPhone 4, which kind of put it all into perspective. Frankly it’s hard to be too depressed about a man leaving my life when retina display has just entered it. And apparently, I’m not the only one who feels that a man is an accessory that’s about as necessary as a dangly little cell phone charm. My new BFF Ashleigh Adams over Yahoo has a top five reasons list why iPhones are better than dudes, including its ability to know when the hell its time to switch to silent mode. Amen Ashleigh.

So, no hard feelings Mr.Blackberry, you were about as outdated as that device you never texted me back on, and it aint like you were going to get any Facetime tail anyway with that piece of junk. Snap.

Bitches be lovin’ them some iPhones, or at least men with iPhones. In this shady study, 54% of women said they would be more attracted to a man if he had an iPhone, 37% said it made him seem more reliable. And while the cynic-and-nerd club over at TechCrunch all seem to think it’s bunk, the bra burning feminists over at my favorite blog Jezebel agree based on the following reasons:

•The girls love iPhone too

•It means he’ll probably be better at directions

•It means he might have more money (NOT necessarily true BTW)

And disagree for the following reasons:

•Makes guy seem snobby

•It’s intimidating technology

As for me? Well clearly, it’s not about the phone, it’s about the apps. I better not find any fart or pickup apps in there boys.